JER: To the average person or holiday traveler, the thought of Palm Springs, CA during the summer might create a visual picture of basking within warm mid-afternoons with a thinly disguised breeze blowing through the swaying palm trees whilst lying on a chaise lounge chair sipping a fruity cocktail drink. Friends, nothing can be farther than the truth for the locals like myself who deal with sweltering 120 degrees beating down on you like a frying egg while desperately dodging the pummeling solar rays and taking refuge in the malls or at home is more the case!
JUNE 8th: PROMETHEUS- I am concerned with the drama being played out by both the Fox studio and director Ridley Scott, who originally was slated to direct the highly- publicized ‘prequel’ to his 1979 sci-fi classic ALIEN. Now it seems as if both parties are avoiding calling it such, yet similarities between both films remain to be seen and compared. I am slightly confused and I really don’t know how else to approach it without curiosity needing to answer for itself.
JUNE 29th: G.I. JOE: RETALIATION- Dennis Quaid, Channing Tatum and Ray Park reprise the characters they originated in 2009’s G.I. JOE- THE RISE OF COBRA in the action- adventure sequel.
JULY 20th: THE DARK KNIGHT RISES- It is somewhat hard to believe that four years have gone by since THE DARK KNIGHT appeared on the screen back on July 20, 2008…having grossed over $1 billion worldwide. So many questions have come and gone since…would The Joker return and could another actor take the irreplaceable spot of Heath Ledger since his premature death? Director Christopher Nolan decided to introduce two different characters that would test both Bruce Wayne and Batman at the same time.
JOHNNY CHAZZ: Well Jer, there is little doubt that the continuing trend of Summer films disappointing audiences (including myself) will stop in 2012. Last year’s Summer films, as you mentioned, were a disaster and we are beginning to hear this year after year. So, this naturally leaves us several months away from any cluster of films that are worth of the box office price in my opinion. However, let’s take a moment to examine each of these titles that you have brought up this week so that we can at least give our audience a few tips on ways in which they might spend their summer:
THE AVENGERS: No interest in superheroes thank you. The topic is stale, phony, and far too imaginable - so I will of course pass. Johnny Chazz’s Box Office Price: $0.75
MEN IN BLACK III: The first two were abominable, so what are we expecting here? Johnny Chazz’s Box Office Price: $0.25
PROMETHEUS: Once again, we are subjected to this type of torturous genre – “Saving the human race” in a Universal battle. The cast is tiring (Patrick Wilson and Charlize Theron are completely forgetful in most roles they play) and the storyline simply appears to be modeling itself after “Alien” all over again. This is a most likely disaster in the waiting….. Johnny Chazz’s Box Office Price: $1.00
ROCK OF AGES: Drew and Sherrie are the main characters’ names? Oh mercy. What is intriguing is that this is written by Justin Theroux ( actor: MULHOLLAND DRIVE, AMERICAN PSYCHO) but in another facet it is also quite disturbing that he would involve himself with a project such as this. The cast has some impressive names (Zeta Jones and Alec Baldwin), but simultaneously it also seems like a cornball type of film. It will, of course, try very hard to be funny and to throw everything but the kitchen sink at the audience…..pass. Johnny Chazz’s Box Office Price: $1.50
ABRAHAM LINCOLN: VAMPIRE HUNTER: This is a complete insult to anyone who partakes in this movie. Is this really where we have landed this Summer? Johnny Chazz’s Box Office Price: $0.25
G.I. JOE: RETALIATION: Bruce Willis actually got involved in this project? Once again, a plot about humankind having its’ existence threatened. This is a tired and worn-out genre that makes no point whatsoever. Johnny Chazz’s Box Office Price: $0.00 (Free Entry)
THE AMAZING SPIDER- MAN: Nope. Johnny Chazz’s Box Office Price: $0.00 (Free Entry)
THE DARK KNIGHT RISES:
THE BOURNE LEGACY: The presence of Edward Norton and Albert Finney actually give this movie a chance at the right box office price. We will wait and see, but let’s not get too excited about anything released in the summer. Johnny Chazz’s Box Office Price: $2.50
TOTAL RECALL: The original was abominable and completely forgetful. Now we get to live through this again? We are certain to get CGI’d to death in this movie that will try to impress us with a “mind-trip” – and I will pass on a hundred levels. Johnny Chazz’s Box Office Price: $0.25
Well, that’s that for Johnny Chazz’s take on this Summer’s upcoming films. To be real honest, I am not sure that I would spend $10 to see all of these films combined. Remember the torture scene in Kubrick's “A Clockwork
|Summer Hit: BACK TO THE FUTURE|
|Summer Hit: RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK|